thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
