put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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