the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
