Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
