You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
