no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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