You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
