that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
