You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
