I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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