Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
