At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
