I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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