I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
