Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize