Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
