So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
