She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
