This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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