The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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