They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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