Whod you bang
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My ass is underappreciated
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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