My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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