Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Randomize
