dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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