i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I love having hate sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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