I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
