Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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