she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Randomize
