He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
