Where are you?
In a non slutty way
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize