Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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