How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
