I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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