i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
