??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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