my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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