Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize