My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
