we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
