OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
