So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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