so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
