someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
