I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
