Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Your dad touched me again.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
