remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
