I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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