Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize