Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
