Do you still have your period?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
