just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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