my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
