Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
