Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
