who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
