There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
