once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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