I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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