why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
