After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
