There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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