im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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