They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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