But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do vagina's smell?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
