STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
