I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
