ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
