i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
