Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
