I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
