You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize