your thong is hanging out like whoa
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize