Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
