there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
